I want to be a published author one day. That's why I'm doing a BA/Dip Professional Writing & Editing. Hopefully it will teach me what I need to know in order to write a novel. Or feature articles for magazines, websites and the like.
That's all well and good - except I don't like showing people what I've written. It's becoming a bit of an issue. It's like an actor who can't have people watch. A singer who can't have anyone listen. It just doesn't work.
So I'm thinking about telling people I know about this blog. And just the thought of people I know actually reading this makes me feel nauseous.
The reason why I'm contemplating this is to build up a profile, a reputation, get my name known. Self-promotion has become a major part of being an author. Websites, blogs, Twitter accounts, anything to lead people to your work. How can I do that if I remain anonymous?
Why do I care what people who I know think? Why can I write to a faceless audience and not care (too much) about what they think? What's the difference?
In one of my classes, I have to come up with an outline for a novel. By the end of the year, we're supposed to have written at least 10,000 words and given that the average novel is about 65,000 words, it's not a lot. The idea also needs to be 'workshopped' by the other people in the class (an idea which also fills me with terror and fear). I'm so reluctant to share anything of mine - what if it's crap? Why am I slightly embarrassed about the genre I'm probably going to be writing in? No-one else is about their chosen genre.
It's 'chick-lit', by the way - and I really hate that term. A book about a woman in her late twenties, with a bit of humour, a bit of a love story, and it's deemed to be fluff or a 'light read' or mindless. It's not Mills & Boon, for Christ's sake. (If Mills & Boon is up your alley, more power to you. I'm not judging
much. [Kidding].) Reading, to me anyway, is for escapism. It doesn't matter what people read, as long as they're reading.
But it's the book snobbery that makes me hesitant about sharing, because chick-lit doesn't have a lot of credibility attached to it. Which is a damn shame because there are some great books out there and it brings happiness to a lot of people. I don't have a desire to write a book that's going to win awards or change people's views or anything like that, I'd be over the moon if something I write made someone laugh or cheered them up or made their day just a little bit better.
Anyway. Anonymity isn't going to get me anywhere. Neither is having a fear of judgement. It really is something I need to work on. And I figure a good way to start is let people know about the blog. Truth be told, they probably won't give a stuff about it, give it a quick once-over and get on with their lives, without another thought towards the effing blog.
So. So, if I do happen to know you and you're reading this, thanks :) If I don't know you and you're reading this, even bigger thanks to you too :)