Dear Gods of the Ringlets,
Thank you for helping my hair go into perfect curls for tonight. It's my first Saturday night in a while, you see, and I am quite nervous (though this straight vodka seems to be helping. Quite a bit). I now have a head of bouncy curls and this so very rarely happens and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Dear Rimmel Red Lipstick,
Sorry, I don't know your actual name, but I love you. What you can do to a face is incredible.
Please don't smear all over my chin later in the night.
I know you're coming. I'm not at all prepared. Please be gentle.