Thursday, August 19, 2010

Imitation Copy


Remember when you were a kid and another kid would do something exactly the same as you? Wear her hair the same way, wear the same clothes, say the same things? And because you were a kid, you could yell Stop copying me! and get away with sounding petty because you were just a kid? Remember that? It's a lot harder to get away with as an adult.

I have this cousin; she's from the 'other' side of the family (I think every family has an 'other' side, don't they?). From about the age of thirteen, right through until I was twenty, we were best friends. When I was eighteen, I noticed things started to get weird. I would mention in passing that I wanted to buy a particular piece of furniture and a couple of weeks later, she would say Hey, guess what I bought? I said I wanted to buy a black Daewoo Lanos (hey, this was in 1998. Those cars were cool back then.), she pulled up in the driveway in a black Daewoo Lanos. There were other little things, but these two particularly stand out in my memory.

When I was twenty,  I met the daughter of one of my mum's friends and we hit it off, so I introduced her to my cousin. We would hang out as a group and for about a year, we had so much fun together.

But then it  all turned a bit Single White Female. Slowly, my cousin would start organising a night out and say to me, Oh, you have to work, don't you? Too bad. Oh well, there's no reason why we can't still go out. And off they would go, out together, until she finally dropped the pretence and just organised stuff for the two of them to do. I stopped calling either of them and funnily enough, I never heard from them either. Seven years later, my cousin was bridesmaid for the friend when she got married. Needless to say, I wasn't invited to the wedding.

We haven't been friends for ten years. I've only seen her a handful of times over the years, at birthdays and weddings. I miss the friendship, but I don't miss her, in a nonsensical kind of way.

Dad came home the other night from visiting his brother (Mum and Dad came home from their eight-week holiday two weeks early, by the way. Grr.) and told me my cousin has a new dog. So? I asked, wondering what his point was - I've told him in the past that I only want to hear about her if she's stacked on the weight. He tried to make me play Guess What the Puppy's Name Is, but I cracked the shits and demanded that he just tell me.

Archie, he said.

That's my cat's name. She named her dog the same name as my cat. The cat that I've had for over six years. My cat. The name I thought up and loved because I didn't know anyone else who had a pet named Archie. The name that is both cute and cool. My cat's name. (And before you ask: no, there is no way that she didn't know Archie's name beforehand. She's met Archie. Archie didn't like her.)

STOP COPYING ME!

Isn't it bizarre? I'm kind of astounded as to why she would want to name her pet the same as mine. I would imagine that even if you really liked the name, you just wouldn't because... well, it's rude and frankly, it's creepy.

I'm really disappointed at the moment. And a bit out of joint. It's weird! I keep yelling in disbelief to Mum and Dad (I'm sure they're ecstatic to be home early. Serves them right.). I feel a bit like Charlotte from Sex and the City when she founds out that an old friend has named her baby Shayla, when everybody knows that Charlotte has baggsed that name.

The injustice of it all!

Has it ever happened to you before? Was it friend, family or foe?

12 comments:

  1. That is totally weird! Not to mention bloody annoying. I felt annoyed just reading this post!

    Maybe in some dark and twisty way, your cousin is jealous of you for one reason or another, and the only way she can deal with it is to have what you have? Beats me.

    Message to Annelise's cousin: STOP COPYING ANNELISE!!

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  2. oh my eff this has happened to me my entire life and i'm not exaggerating. i wish my mother was here to validate b/c she would go off and flip a story or 7000.

    i don't care if imitation is the highest form of flattery. it can be annoying. i had a friend in college that i knew from h/s - she had always copied me - i come home from uni on a break and guess who bought the EXACT same car?? scary thing was she had somehow found out what my dad had graciously helped me with and then bought the same. cuc-koo.

    this same nutjob...i remember being 16 and saying i'm gonna name my kid this if it's a boy, this if it's a girl. i had the name ronan for a boy. i completely forgot this until 4 years ago when this whack case hunts me down in CA...haven't spoken to her in, oh, 10 years...she wants to tell me she had another kid. a boy. i don't even think to ask the name b/c i'm not kid oriented and am still trying to figure out how she found me. must have really been eating at her because she blurts out 'oh i named him ronan. isn't that the best name?' it didn't even hit me til a couple weeks later (uh, some of us move on crazy!) and i just shook my head.

    anyway, that's my novel and girl we could start a whole website on this. over the past couple of months a VERY popular blogger (and i mean thousands of followers) has been ripping off my lingo, ideas, etc. it's blatant. but b/c i only have 300 followers i wonder if anyone notices? it's happened so often it cannot even be an error. no way, no how.

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  3. That sucks. A girl I knew would always try to date boys when I broke up with them. Which means she purposefully tracked down cheaters and alcoholics (I had great taste) to date so she could phone me up and tell me how wonderful they were. It was just plain weird. But weird though that was, this seems weirder.

    I agree with up there though ^ maybe she is just jealous of you and wants to be more like you, not that it helps much. I hope she gets her own life soon and lets you be with yours though.

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  4. We had friends years ago who had to buy everything for their house exactly the same as we did. Yes, I know it should be flattering that we are clearly so plum wonderful that we warrant emulating at every turn but I agree with you, it is also extremely annoying and more than a little creepy.

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  5. Uh wow. That girl just needs to grow up. I know that sounds judgemental and all, but, damn. I get insecurities I really do. However, I don't understand the need to be like someone or have something someone has just to feel good about yourself. I don't get it. I would be out of sorts about this too. Sorry hun. Good luck and remember you've taken the high road and that'll pay off for you. Oh yeah, and regards to her- karma's a bitch.

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  6. I agree, this is so weird!!! I've had similar situations, but nothing quite this extreme. The funny thing is that I absolutely don't mind if people copy things as long as they're honest about it. What annoys me most is when they act like it was THEIR idea! As if she came up with Archie all on her own and then acts like it's weird that YOU have a cat with the same name. Ugh. I'm sorry you're frustrated! On a positive note, it sounds like she's no longer a big part of your life and that seems like a relief!

    xo
    Valerie

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  7. Imitation is the highest form of flattery? Or something like that?

    Personally, there was a girl who copied my everything in high school (it was creepy and stalkerish). She wasn't able to get into my university so she went to another one close by me. Which was really creepy. Eventually I was able to shake her, but it still bugs me.

    You, however, are stuck with this girl because she's family. :( Maybe, eventually, she'll move on to copy someone else and leave you alone?

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  8. Yes, I can identify. My ex boss used to buy the bag that I lusted, or wear the same clothes and listen to the same music as me, after I had mentioned them in passing. I used to get a little annoyed, but then... it's kind of flattering isn't it?

    Annoying, but flattering.

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  9. Wow she is really copying you right down to the name of the dog! I think she must have some of her own insecurities and she probably is intimidated by you in some way or another. You should look on the bright side and see this as a compliment-you're a leader and a trendsetter and people want to copy what you do!!!
    have a great weekend,
    naina

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  10. I know in my case the girl concerned was a little intimidated by me, and she thought that by copying my hair and the way I dressed, well she thought that it would make me like her. She told me that she thought if she did copy some of the things I did, it would maybe make me see some of me in her, and that would make me like her. After we talked we actually became good friends. It's definitely low self esteem in a lot of people's cases.

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  11. Ok, this post gives me chills. This is very weird! And I totally know what you mean about Single White Female. On one hand it is flattering, but on the other, it bugs. I totally get your frustration.
    Please keep us posted.

    xo M

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  12. Natasha: It beats me too. It annoys me too.

    Carrie: Holy crap, that is intense!! That sounds like a full on case of psycho. And I am SO intrigued to know who this blogger is!

    Siobhan: No, I think your crazy is crazier. Who wants to date someone else's sloppy seconds and then brag about it?

    Angelcel: It just gets so frustrating, doesn't it? Mum said she had friends like that, who would buy everything the same, and it's just one of those things you really can't do anything about. Urgh.

    Habebi: Sometimes, karma takes her effing sweet time though, doesn't she?

    Valerie: I agree with the honest approach, I think that would make it easier to deal with.

    Robin: The good thing is that, even though she's family, we don't see each at all, so this just kind of came right out of nowhere. The other copying stuff was ten years and more ago, so that's why it kind of hit me for six.

    Clouds: You're a bigger person that I am :)

    Naina: I shall read your comment every time I need some positive reinforcement.

    Kate: Definitely low self-esteem. So glad your situation turned out the way it did.

    Marcie: It is just weird. Plain weird. Thanks :)

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