A while back, I came across an article titled Top Five Regrets of the Dying, by Bronnie Ware, who worked in palliative care and spent her time with people who were in their final days of life. She asked them what were their biggest regrets in life. The following are the top five:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
How many of you can relate to this? You do some stuff to please other people and before you know it, you've lost yourself. Follow your instincts, follow your dreams, stand firm on what you believe in. It is your life to live, not anybody else's.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
Apparently, this was what every male patient of Bronnie's said. The traditional role of the male is to provide for the family, but at what cost? Slow down and enjoy life. It goes too fast (I am in no danger of ever working too hard, I'm all about the work to live, not live to work school of thought. It also means that I'll probably be flat-broke for most of my life.).
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Be honest. Tell people how you feel, whether you feel full of love or whether you're just plain old pissed off. Let it out, don't hold onto anger. Tell that person you love them. You'll regret it if you don't.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
It is so easy to lose touch with people, but what excuse do we have these days? Email, Facebook, text messages, and don't even forget the old fashioned ways of keeping in contact - calling to talk to someone or sending a letter. Time and effort seem to be the hardest part. As Bronnie says, it's not status or money that counts in the end, but love and relationships. That's all when it comes down to it.
I wish I'd let myself be happier.
Bronnie puts this one perfectly: When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Isn't it all perfect advice? Be yourself, enjoy life, say how you feel, cultivate friendships and be happy. It doesn't sound hard at all.
Read Bronnie's article, she says it all better than I do.
Annelise I just retweeted this article. Thank you for sharing it! :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post. Thanks for sharing it with the world. When truth is said it carries with it a knowing vibration and this has it
ReplyDeleteOH, if we could only actually follow this advice fully. That first one has already been one of my regrets in life. I guess I need to keep working on these things, huh?
ReplyDeleteLove this, Annalise.
Wow, this is really interesting and such great advice. My favorite is the one about allowing ourselves to be happy. I always think about that phrase, "we're only as happy as we allow ourselves to be" and it's so true. Thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeletexo
Valerie
Thanks for posting this, Annelise, it's all just so, so true - the first and last regrets in particular (for me anyway).
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of not working so much, I am *really* wishing that I wasn't at my desk right now!
First time to your blog and that blew me away. Definitely advice to live by but how many of us are brave enough to do it?
ReplyDeleteAnnelise, thanks for posting this. I will certainly keep this in mind. Especially when I start to slip into depression or worry mode. Last year I took four months off to travel and it was worth the sacrifice. I felt like I literally bought time and it was money well spent.
ReplyDeleteCheers.
"Live the life you want to live."
Amazing advice - very inspiring!! xx
ReplyDeleteThis is so good. I really need to work at letting myself be happy. The last thing I want to do is turn around at the end and be filled with regret (or at least any more regret than I might have already gathered).
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
xoxo,
Carrie
Love this! Especially the one about being happier ;)
ReplyDeleteWow, this is so right. These items are exactly the top five I would have. Many times I think about how I should make changes becuase life is too short to be unhappy :)
ReplyDeleteI needed this. Like really needed it. Thank you thank you thank you :) Love.
ReplyDeleteI think... I agree with you but I disagree this..
ReplyDeleteIt's great to be reminded of these things. I've had many moments lately where I wish I could just slow down the clock a little!
ReplyDeleteI really love this post Annelise. I might send this out to my family if that's ok with you!
ReplyDeleteI would regret working so much.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should slow down.
Naina: Absolutely! I think everyone needs to know this advice!
ReplyDeleteThis was so powerful! We think we have time to "do it all." But really, there's a finish line waiting for every one of us.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite: "I wish I'd let myself be happier." This might be my new mantra...
aweh. this is sad....terrific advice, but still sad!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! I love it!
ReplyDeletehttp://minnja.blogspot.com/
Kisses
minnja
*smiles*
ReplyDeleteAnd here I was thinking I'd wasted today! But really, was it a waste? I reminisced in an old shed whilst reading old diaries. I found old books. Read a poem to my lover (albeit to see if it was suitable for my Myths and Symbols essay). I reflected on how lucky I was to find my new uni friends and how I wished to cultivate those relationships more. I ate good food. I spent time with my son. I walked my dog. I relaxed. Ok, so no homework was done, but the day wasn't wasted at all!
Thanks Annelise :-) I'm always up for a piece of inspiration.
This is deep. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad but inspirational article. Thanks for posting this.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Die before you die and then you can truly live in the wonder and be grateful for every moment. We are becoming aware of ourselves and what will come out of this awareness is unimaginable
ReplyDelete