the eternal struggle

I'm booked in to have my hair done next week. I get a cut and colour every six - seven weeks, and every six - seven weeks, I start asking myself the same old questions: lighter or dark? Longer or shorter? It's never-ending. Most of the time, when my hairdresser asks, ''So, what are we doing today?'', I say, "Oh, I don't know... What do you think?" I usually end up doing whatever she suggests and have subjected myself to weeks of indecision for no reason.

Over the years, my hair has been blonde, red and brown, and nearly every shade in between. When I think back to the pre-dyed days, I don't know why I ever touched it: it was brown, and had shades of chestnut when the sun hit it, as well as lighter, almost blonde, highlights around my face. I can't buy that colour.

At the moment, it's brown with some lighter foils. I like it, but as the appointment sneaks up on me, I start it all over again: should I go lighter? It's coming into summer, lighter hair looks good in summer. It looks good as it is, but could it look better, even lighter? What to do? What to do? I try looking to the internet for inspiration, but that just adds to the confusion:

Brunette, sultry and mysterious:

So I think Excellent, this is what I'll do! but then I see the blondes:

and I can't decide. I think I've learned my lesson with red, but I then see a bombshell like Christina Hendricks and I start to wonder Maybe...

Does anyone else do this to themselves? Or are you all content with what you've got? I drive myself crazy, never able to decide. Gah, first world problems...

Photos are from all over the joint. If they're yours, let me know and I'll give credit or take them down.

feeling grateful

The other night, I was complaining (as usual). My feet were sore and they ached. I picked up the day's paper and saw the name of my old personal trainer. He was in hospital, after an accident saw him get knocked off his motorbike. Apparently, his leg was pretty mangled and although surgeons performed surgery, they weren't sure his leg could be saved. He's now lying in bed, waiting days? weeks? to find out if he has to have part of his leg amputated. My aching feet didn't seem to be such a big deal after all.

That news, combined with this picture, certainly helps to put things into perspective.

top five regrets of the dying

A while back, I came across an article titled Top Five Regrets of the Dying, by Bronnie Ware, who worked in palliative care and spent her time with people who were in their final days of life. She asked them what were their biggest regrets in life. The following are the top five:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

How many of you can relate to this? You do some stuff to please other people and before you know it, you've lost yourself. Follow your instincts, follow your dreams, stand firm on what you believe in. It is your life to live, not anybody else's.

I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Apparently, this was what every male patient of Bronnie's said. The traditional role of the male is to provide for the family, but at what cost? Slow down and enjoy life. It goes too fast (I am in no danger of ever working too hard, I'm all about the work to live, not live to work school of thought. It also means that I'll probably be flat-broke for most of my life.).

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Be honest. Tell people how you feel, whether you feel full of love or whether you're just plain old pissed off. Let it out, don't hold onto anger. Tell that person you love them. You'll regret it if you don't.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

It is so easy to lose touch with people, but what excuse do we have these days? Email, Facebook, text messages, and don't even forget the old fashioned ways of keeping in contact - calling to talk to someone or sending a letter. Time and effort seem to be the hardest part. As Bronnie says, it's not status or money that counts in the end, but love and relationships. That's all when it comes down to it.

I wish I'd let myself be happier.

Bronnie puts this one perfectly: When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Isn't it all perfect advice? Be yourself, enjoy life, say how you feel, cultivate friendships and be happy. It doesn't sound hard at all.

Read Bronnie's article, she says it all better than I do.

A Little Frivolity

Sometimes, things get too serious.

Sometimes, you get stuck in a routine.

Sometimes, you feel flat and lethargic.

You need something to pull you out, make you yourself again, bring some playfulness back into your life.

Sometimes those things come in the guise of shoes. Sparkly shoes. In fact, the world's most sparkly shoes.

These babies should do it. Knock Your Socks Off Heel, they're called. They're from ModCloth. They should arrive next week and they are going to help me shake the dust off, get back into the swing of things and bring some frivolity back to my life.

We all need a little frivolity every now and then.

Seven and Seven

Arjie of One of these mornings tagged me in a "answer seven questions, ask seven questions" type deal. As much as I love awards, I'm running out of random facts about myself to tell you all, so this is kind of perfect.


1. If you could give your teenage self one piece of advice what would it be?
Hold onto your dreams. Don't let the ideas or comments of others sway you. But also know that it's never too late, you can do anything.


2. What are you currently obsessed with?
This is a good one! I get epically obsessed with one subject, read all I can on it for a few days before moving onto something else. Recent examples of this include Mexican drug lords, forgotten music of the nineties (on which a blog post is currently pending) and The Vampire Diaries.


3.  Is there any one event you look back on in your life and just cringe with shame?
Most memories have been repressed, but without going into detail, there is one that induces the foetal position.


4. Would you call yourself a feminist?
Yes. And no. I am in the sense that I believe in total equality for women, but it's also nice to have a door held open for you every now and then.


5. What is the one thing that if you don’t do in your life, you will be really angry at yourself for not doing?
I'll be really disappointed if I don't try my bloody hardest to have a novel published. I've banged on about it for years and years, and it is starting to feel like something I could possibly achieve, but I just have stop listening to that naggy, bitchy inner voice who tells me everything I write is crap.


6. Do you get on better with your mum or your dad?
Mum and I have grown closer over the last few years and I'm really grateful for that. I'm going to echo Miz.November's sentiments that my dad and I alike and therefore we clash sometimes, but we also laugh at things that Mum doesn't think are funny. So maybe it's pretty equal.


7. Every music album in the world is to be destroyed and you can only keep one. Which do you keep and why?
Um. Um... Bugger. Last night, I chose Bob Marley and the Wailer's Legend because of all the good memories stirred up when I hear it, but today... I can't choose, don't make me choose. I'd have to make a mix-tape.


So my seven questions to ask are:


1. What are you currently obsessed with? (Shameless question theft from Arjie)
2. If you could live in any era, which would it be? (I'm all about the seventies)
3. What are you really, really good at?
4. When you were seventeen, where did you think you would be in ten year's time?
5. What is your favourite 'guilty pleasure'? (I really hate that term: if you like it, why feel guilty about it?)
6. What is one thing that makes you really, really happy?
7. If you could live in any movie, which would it be? (Sticking with the seventies theme, I'd want to live in Almost Famous.)


and I'm tagging:


Siobhan from Time has told me
Mel from ChinkyGirl Mel
Natasha from she left on a monday
Celia from life according to celia
Morgan from The best kind of buzz 
angelcel from AC's Scrapbook
Alex from Caterpillar Contemplations
Robin from life without want 
(So that's eight. I broke the rules. Umm-maah.)


Now you know you don't have to do anything with this, but I'm really looking forward to reading your answers, so pretend I didn't say you don't have to do anything because you do.


P.S. I have no idea why Blogger is double-spacing any and every line break, but it's really giving me the shits. I've noticed a lot of other people having problems lately with Blogger. Don't make me move to Wordpress because I really can't be bothered.