Saturday, November 26, 2011

a letter to the bloody dog


Dear Woody,

Please be advised of the following:
  • My shoes are not toys
  • My pink knickers are not toys
  • My sports bras are not toys (and I would appreciate you not taking any of the above for a run around the backyard again)
  • My computer cords are not toys
  • My trousers are not toys
  • My cat is not a toy
  • My bed is not to be slept on
  • My shoulder is not to suffer an attempt at dislocation when I take you for a walk
  • The cows in the paddocks a few streets away do not need to be herded despite your obvious thoughts otherwise
Your cooperation in these matters would be appreciated.

Kind regards,

Annelise

P.S. Stop stealing the fucking tissues from the bin. It's disgusting.
Posted by annelise at 11:27 AM

11 comments:

  1. "The cat is not a toy." lol

    I like when my dogs sleep in my bed (because they're little). Monty more than Lucy because he cuddles.

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  3. Funny...I am new to this dog owning thing - so now have to get used to scanning the room for everything and anything he might think is a toy. All of the above...and what is the deal with tissues??!! Ugh. Lou x

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  4. Ha! love them, but good grief they are VERY hard work at times...

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  5. I still want a dog after reading this.

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  6. This is hilarious. If only dogs could read...

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  7. I can totally relate. I read this note to my dog.
    Very funny.

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  8. Thanks. You just made me feel a little bit better about putting up with the puppy we got this weekend. More on that later.

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  9. Hahaha omg I love it! Especially the part about the herding. I love it when dogs try to herd things. Farm animals, kids...

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  11. Too funny. I've missed coming here!
    x

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