Picture from Pinterest, original source unknown
On Friday, my mother and I raised our champagne glasses.
“Here’s to being unemployed,” I said.
“Here’s to new opportunities,” Mum corrected me.
We clinked our glasses.
My summer of full-time, nine to five, work ended on Friday. Done and dusted. I knew when I gave up the security of my regular Saturdays to do the three months’ full-time that there may not be any ongoing work for me but I was still kind of surprised when all I was offered at the end of it all were some well wishes and a bottle of champagne that I downed while watching the Oscars on Monday afternoon. There were some vague suggestions of looking through the budget to see if some extra hours could be justified but nothing concrete.
The five days of unemployment and no prospects have left me feeling strangely energised. Change is good for me. I don’t actively seek it out – in fact, I think part of my brain tells me it isn’t good and that I should avoid it at all costs – but it’s good for my soul. I feel more alive when life’s direction is uncertain after being static for so long.
Perhaps because of the altered routine, I made a decision. I’m not going to writhe about with feelings of resentment, angst and grief over my work in progress any longer. The novel I’ve struggled to write since 2010 is going to have a little rest. I’m just resting my eyes, my mother used to say when we thought she was sleeping. And so my manuscript is resting its eyes. Just for a while. I know I said I would labour over it for another six months but last night, the decision to let it rest felt right.
And maybe because of the change, of not feeling guilty about not being able to write anymore of that story, another idea has arrived into my brain box, almost full formed, and I’m excited about it. Writing with enthusiasm again feels good. Change has proved to be a good thing.
And hey, now that I’ve got no work, I can write all the damn time now, can’t I?
And HEY, HEY: I started my final semester of university this week! Twelve weeks to go until I’m finished (providing all goes well, fingers and eyes crossed). Twelve weeks! How about that, eh?!
Well. This is very much a post of something!
ReplyDeleteBeing unemployed is terrifying in one way, but it CAN be empowering if there is something you can do with your time. I'm glad you took the chance and found your something.
Good for you! I love that your mother used to say she was resting her eyes! I say that to my kids, which suggests it should form part of the mothers sayings book that someone ought to write one day. Lou xx
ReplyDeleteMy dad would always say that he was resting his eyes, too! although he could never argue when we pointed out that he was also snoring, hah.
ReplyDeleteI am happy that your somewhat unexpected change has turned into something good, and hooray for twelve weeks!
I love it when you get a chance to shift focus and, all of a sudden, ideas come to you with a freshness that you could have never forced into existence. That's good stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record, my mom always said "I'm just gonna doze off for a minute." as she waved her hand in my beckoning face. Resting her eyes.
I love how you embrace change. I am so excited for your last semester at uni, I can't wait to hear what incredible things you will be doing, reading, and learning. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for all this might bring you. :)
ReplyDelete