Friday, August 22, 2014

Ordeal V Adventure

Picture via Pinterest, original source unknown

I don't usually go for inspirational quotes, I find them to be a bit naff and cheesy, but this one though, this one is so fitting for right now.

Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.

Losing a job, being made redundant, that's a pretty big ordeal. That mortgage and those bills aren't going to pay themselves. Being made redundant two weeks before my one-year anniversary meant that I wasn't entitled to a redundancy package? (Oh, I'm not bitter about that at all. Not. At. All) That's an ordeal.

But there isn't any point moping about it, is there? It's done, they're done, I'm done. Now it's time to move on.

What makes this an adventure is that I can right all the wrongs in my life. Rather than look for work in Geelong, my hometown, I can venture further afield to Melbourne - the world's most livable city, if those polls are to be believed - where the money is better and opportunity seems infinite.

Maybe I should be scared. Maybe I'll have the wind taken out of my sails in three weeks when I still don't have a job and my savings are rapidly dwindling. Maybe I'll fall (but oh my darling, what if you fly?). Or maybe, as my friend and ex-work colleague said to me yesterday, this will be the making of me.

I find these times in life, when you know life is going to be turned on its head, to be so exhilarating. Routine scares me. I need the rush and the adrenaline of being pushed out of my comfort zone because it makes me feel alive. And Goddammit, do I feel alive right now!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Well, that was unexpected

You know how you’re just cruising along the highway of life, thinking that while everything is okay, things could be just a little bit different? A little bit more exciting, a little bit more interesting, maybe even a little bit more drama?

My life’s highway has, for the past few years, been dead straight. No bends, twists or turns. No bumps, no major potholes. There hasn't even been any interesting scenery. Maybe just a few trees, evenly spaced along the side of the road.

Nothing is inherently wrong with that (if that’s what you’re after) but I haven’t been able shake that Is this it? feeling. Is being terminally bored how it’s going to be for me forever? And those kinds of feelings freaked me out, made me anxious that I've been wasting my life. I could be doing something amazing! I would think, but then have to go into the office on a Monday and face a job that held no interest, provided no challenge or stimulation, and I would despair. Pretty sure this is it.

I would write down my wishes in a notebook. Put it out there, make it known to the universe, and it will happen. I want a job I love topped the list. Over and over again. So as jobs came up that I was interested in, I would apply for it. There wasn't a lot of them though and I wasn't having much luck. Still, I wasn't desperate to leave my current job, so I just plodded along.

After a few months, the idea of temping occurred to me. Better money, constant exposure to new industries, and the very nature of temping would mean that I probably wouldn't have the time to get bored. The only thing that held me back was how do you leave a secure job for the insecurity of temping? I would talk about it with my co-worker all the time but could never work up the courage to do anything about it.

Meanwhile, the boredom I felt at work was creeping over to invade my personal life. I was bored. Saturday would roll around and I would find myself thinking I’m so bored. Bored on the weekend?! That’s insane. Not much to do locally and my shitty salary meant no extra cash to do the things I would like to do.
I was getting pretty frustrated and even though I could see, almost touch, all of the possibilities and opportunities that temping may bring, I couldn't commit to taking that step.

And then on Monday morning, I was made redundant from my job and my hand has been forced.

Hello, bendy, twisty, turny highway of life. It’s about time you got interesting again.