Wednesday, April 1, 2015

In which I become a sugar-free bore

For an assortment of different and varying reasons that I shan't bore you with right now (isn't shan't the most deliciously snooty word? Rarely heard these days; I resolve to use it more often, do my bit to save it from dying out of the modern vocabulary), I have been off sugar since January.

At the risk of sounding like one of those health-obsessed, bandwagon-jumping bores, I have never felt better. Ever. I didn't even realise how good I felt until I had some of my father's birthday cake earlier this month and the following day, suffered through the worst headache I have had in recent memory. It could only be put down to the now-alien sugar and was confirmed when I went back for another go a couple of weeks later.

Avoiding sugar, by default, also means avoiding processed foods. Imagine finishing a meal and feeling maybe not full as such but satisfied and definitely not feeling bloated and heavy. You may know what this feels like but shamefully, I never have felt this for any extended period of time. I wish I knew sooner how amazing it feels. How much lighter, more energetic, better I feel.

So, knowing all this, why why why would I be planning to make these chocolate caramel gooey cookies and these chocolate spiders (that I last made during my three months of funemployment) for our family Good Friday meal? Why? Maybe it is the same reason I am planning a big plate of nachos for lunch (despite the fact I don't identify with any particular religion, I can't bring myself to eat meat on Good Friday): the memory of food.

Such a powerful little thing, memory. (How painfully simple is that sentence.) I remember what it used to be like to eat and enjoy certain foods: the taste, the texture, even the social aspect of a shared meal, but I have yet to commit to memory the dull headache and painful stomach that results from eating "bad" foods. I write about the whole nasty experience in my journal, in the hopes that if I ever find myself seduced by the cruel, sugary mistress again, I will instead turn to the pages and be reminded that I will, absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, feel like five different kinds of shit if I do give in. But I don't read over the journal entries. I forget. But through repetition comes perfection, so try, try, try again, right?


  1. I do this. I eat right for weeks and feel great then BOOM I eat something I cannot handle, and then something else and then I feel TERRIBLE. Right now I need to cut down on milk for a bit as anything too viscous is just bad for me. It makes me want it more because it is forbidden. I am a dick to myself sometimes.

  2. Sugar. Sugar. Sugar. It is evil. But we have to have a certain amount of it (the natural stuff, anyway). This is exactly how my mom and I are about the Blood Type Diet we are on. We eat something we aren't supposed to and then report on all the hell that it caused us. Sugar makes her ears ring. And it makes me itch. Welcome to the strange, strange world of eating for health, my love.